Hello Everyone, my latest adventure has been driving around Scotland for ten days with Aidan. We both had a fantastic time, despite the horrors of the first day. Although he hasn’t driven a manual since his driving test, Aidan thought it would be a cool idea to hire a manual (?). When we went to pick up the car however he stalled it about fifteen times in a row…dodgy considering we weren’t even out of the rental car lot. This was followed by him practice driving around the back streets of Finchley for a while, during which I jumped out of the car and got a bus home. Stressful, stressful ….although it was a bad start to a holiday, we ended up having a lovely time.
General impressions were that I didn’t particularly like Scottish towns, while loving their scenery and wilderness. This isn’t to say Glasgow and Edinburgh weren’t good. Edinburgh was amazing and we didn’t really go into the centre of Glasgow (petrified by the Government funded billboards on the outskirts of the city proclaiming ‘anyone can become addicted to heroin’ and memories of Trainspotting).
The vibe in Edinburgh was really excellent, because it was the time of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. We have decided that we will definitely go back next year for the festival, and stay a bit longer, as we only saw two shows. (We missed out on tickets for a show entitled ‘I'm worried that I'm starting to hate almost everyone in the world’ …which seemed just right for Aidan and I, and we were understandably disappointed). The shows we did see were ‘Bill Hicks – slight return’, which was a guy doing stand up in an impersonation of Bill Hicks, kind of offensive, and totally hilarious. And a play called ‘The Black Jew Dialogues’, which gave an insight into the current issues with being black or jewish in America. It was quite an eye-opener, as I think in Australia we have very different racial issues. I saw an odd poster in the street for some kind of ‘theatre’ called ‘Tits and Blood’, but despite my intrigue, it had finished the night before.
We also did a ghost tour of the city, which wasn’t as scary as I had been told, because I think I have been desensitised by too many scary movies (footnote: creepiest movie part ever – the end of the Ring with the coming out of the telly thing. Most disturbing movie part ever – Saw 2 where they throw her in that pit of syringes!! Aagghh!) Now, back to my actual story, they walked us around the city, and then into the vaults under the cities main bridge (they filled in the arches under the bridge to make more room for the exploding population of Edinburgh a couple of hundred years ago, but they were leaky and cold and crap, so they moved everyone out again, blocked them off, and they were only opened again recently). Then they took us to some graveyard in the pitch black, and into some old run down vault (you know those family tomb things), which I swear to god I would not have gone near if it was daylight and I could actually see! Suspect they had to clear out the junkies before they took us in there, and god knows what I was stepping on – most terrifying moment of the night. They had some good gory stories though. Mostly about torture that the Government had imposed on people (think the end of Braveheart, pulling out your guts and showing you, etc). There was one good story about some Duke, whose son was insane so they locked him in the attic, and one day he got loose, and he went down to the kitchen, where he found a boy turning a pig on a spit over the fire. He took the pig off, put the boy on, cooked him, and ate him! This is supposedly a true story. But why would he not just eat the pig? Hmm, probably something to do with the ‘being insane’ thing.
Lastly on Edinburgh, I want to do a plug for the best meal I ate in Scotland. The food was amazing, and the service was the best I have had in the UK, seriously. It was at a pub/restaurant called The Villager, on Melbourne Street which runs off the Royal Mile. (Best thing about Scottish restaurants – no smoking, unlike in England!). If anyone that reads this ever goes there, you really should look in on this place. It was excellent.
After Edinburgh it was out into the highlands for the rest of our trip, starting with Oban. We stayed in a B&B about 15 minutes drive out of Oban…thank God. Oban is a bit of a Bateman’s Bay…Rowans Funland tacky if you know what I mean. The main attraction is that it is a port town, and this is how you get out to the southern islands of the west coast. We took a boat tour to take us out among the islands to see some Wildlife and the whirlpools. Whirlpools were a disappointment, as Aidan had hyped me up to expect a huge swirling vortex, which we would have to be careful not to let the boat get dragged in to….in reality, it was just this area of ocean with really glassy water interspersed with tiny little ‘whirlpools’…it was ok, but I wouldn’t recommend it. As for the wildlife, they were mostly hiding…saw some seals, some deer and an eagle…oh and other birds, but if they aren’t puffins (and they weren’t) then I don’t really care much for birds. There were two people running the boat cruise. One, a new grad marine biologist girl was interesting to me, simply because I always wondered where those marine biologists actually get jobs. And the man, about forty years old, was seriously, Ian McFadden. From the comedy company? He used to play an explorer? Well it wasn’t really him, but he acted/talked exactly like him.
The B&B at Oban was probably my least favourite, as I found the lady that ran it very school-marmish, and you could sense marital tension between her and her husband. Also the house wasn’t ye olde like the others, it was almost like one of those kit homes, very flimsy feeling. But it was in a great location on the coast, five minute walk to a little castle, so it wasn’t all bad. Felt mean when the next day we rushed off with me saying ‘quick Aidan, quick, before she talks to us!’…and then she rushed out to our car to give us a copy of a Calendar that she had done the photography for….I am so mean…Otherwise, all the people running the B&B’s were nice, they were all ladies except for one. I really recommend B&B’s because they are relatively cheap compared to hotels, and they are nicer/cleaner/quieter than hostels. But like I said, it is nicer to stay out of the Scottish towns if at all possible…they are a bit dreary and depressing…whereas if you stay out of town you can stay cheaply in a B&B that might overlook a loch, or be at the edge of a moor, or at the foot of a beautiful mountain!
Next stop was the Isle of Skye via Glen Coe. The scenery driving through Glen Coe and around that area was the most beautiful in Scotland, I certainly don’t have the talent to describe it, we will see if my photo’s will turn out any good. Story of Glen Coe: so, the English were annoyed at this Scottish clan for some reason (forgetting to sign some treaty on time or something), so they sent some soldiers to go and stay with them, all friendly and nice, and for two weeks these Scottish clan people looked after them and had no idea what was going on and then one morning, the English soldiers just turned on their hosts and slaughtered them! Bastards! There were a lot of stories of English bastardry on our drive around Scotland. Although, another one, about the clearances, I thought it was the English people that did the clearances (i.e. where they cleared all the highlanders out of the highlands), but you know what? It wasn’t! it was some of the heads of the Scottish Clans!
We stayed in a lovely B&B on the Isle of Skye on a mountain overlooking a beautiful loch. On Skye I would recommend the Fairy Pools walk. It takes you for a walk through a moor at the foot of these towering mountains, to these clear water ponds and pools among waterfalls. Skye was also the place where I could get up close enough to a highland cow to take a photo (although very uncomfortable, as I think there were people in a nearby van having sex with the door open that wanted me to go away).
Then we drove up to Ullapool which is another port town that has ferries that take you out to the more northern west islands like Isle of Lewis. Here they had what was touted by Radio 4 as the ‘Best takeaway in Britain’. It was a fish and chip shop, and the only one I have seen in Britain so far that does not have the food pre-cooked and sitting in heated little coffins at the counter. They fried it all fresh, and it was probably the best I have had over here – though that doesn’t say much. The fish and chips at the top shop at Farmborough Hts (circa any of the multitude of owners) could beat the crap fish and chips they serve up in Britain.
Next we drove up the far north coast and around to Mey, where we stayed the night and had a fantastic home cooked meal at our B&B. It was just up the road from the Castle of Mey (which is apparently where the Queen Mother used to chill out), and so we walked up there and had a gander. We could also see over to the Orkneys from our B&B, but unfortunately we didn’t have enough time to go over there and check them out. We had great weather that day, and went past some white sand beaches, so I have got some summer-beach looking photos that are quite incongruent with the idea of a Scottish holiday.
The next day we drove down to Kingussie, which is in the heart of ‘Monarch of the Glen’ country. We went to try and take a photo of the Monarch of the Glen castle, but we couldn’t because it was the one day of the trip where it poured down with rain. If it was fine weather, I would have walked around to the castle, because even though it is privately owned, there are no trespass laws in Scotland, so you can walk wherever the hell you like! Lucky for them it was raining. On that day we also went to Loch Ness (disappointingly one of the more unappealing lochs – boring, grey, choppy, no monster) and Culloden. Culloden being the battlefield where Scotland finally lost properly to the British and like 1500 Scottish people were slaughtered (they had no shoes!) and only 50 English died (they had big f*ck off artillery stuff!).
We also went to a highland games on the edge of Loch Ness, which was an experience. It is kind of like a school fete/athletics carnival rolled into one, plus, I assume, a lot of liability insurance, since big men were throwing big dangerous heavy things around everywhere. It was no St Mary’s International Night, but the locals were loving it.
On our final night, we stayed outside of Glasgow down near Lanark, on a farm. This was very close to the Falls of Clyde, which is a waterfall on the River Clyde, so we did a nice little walk along there. The walk starts at a place called New Lanark, which is obviously much older than the normal Lanark, so was a bit confusing. Apparently it was called New Lanark, because this was the place that Robert Owens introduced radical new labour practices during the dark days of the Industrial Revolution (like not putting children down the mines!).
This was also near where Aidan’s uncle lives (in Busby), so we went and had lunch with him, and he showed us some photo’s of Aidan as a youngster. In one photo he looked about 16, but when I looked at the back of the photo, it was only 3 years ago! London has certainly aged him! He says it is because that photo was taken before he started full time work…
Well, my next trip will be to Barcelona in a couple of weeks, for a long weekend with Sue-Ellen and Olivia, but after that I might wind the travels back a bit. I think I take my trips a bit too much for granted, and don’t get as excited about going when I go all the time, so I might lay off for a while, and then can get worked up for my next trip. Also, another contributing factor is that I have now developed an absolute hatred for Airports. I hate the waiting, I hate the queues, I hate the crap shops, I hate being felt up at security, I hate cheap airlines that don’t allocate you a seat so you have to push and shove otherwise you get shoved in between two people who are such a size they should get the three seats to themselves, I hate those people that use a ‘trolley’ to put their tiny little bag on, I hate the horrible food that is 845 times normal price, I hate that the airports are all outside the city so it is a trek to even get to the airport in the first place and even worse is all this when you are coming home, because there is not much to be excited about at the other end!
Okay….so that is my airport rant….
