Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Norway

The past weekend was the Bank holiday weekend in the UK, so to maximise this time off, Sue-Ellen and I decided to go to Norway! Never has a weekend been so jam packed – although, we still oddly had time for day time naps and long spells in coffee shops (where they sold hot chocolate in bowls, which, while very difficult to carry, was obviously my dream).

We stayed in Oslo for three nights, but on the Sunday we spent 24 hours travelling across the country to Bergen, in what can only be described as a ‘beautiful ordeal’. We desperately wanted to see Fjords you see, but there are no decent fjords near Oslo – For example, the ‘Oslo Fjord’, was somewhat reminiscent of Lake Illawarra! So we bought tickets on a tour called ‘Norway in a nutshell’, which promised lots of beautiful scenery, although at a somewhat gruelling schedule, including an overnight return train trip.

The overnight return train trip is basically at the crux of the ‘ordeal’. Ideally, we would have had a sleeper carriage. These were all booked out. The tour lady told us not to worry though, because the train had reclining chairs, blankets, pillows, eyemasks,…very comfortable apparently.

The first thing we noticed, as we took our seats at 11pm, was that our seats, being at the back, and hence up against a wall, could not recline. Secondly, as we were at the back of the carriage, we were at the doors, which squeaked interminably loudly when anyone exited (squeak describes the sound, but not the volume, of this noise. What sound would a mouse make if it was the size of a hippo? Yes, a hippo sized mouse squeak is a good description). You would think that wouldn’t happen often during the hours of 11pm-6am, as most people would sleep. No. It seems that more people than I would have imagined suffer from INCONTINENCE and need to use the bathroom frequently. One word. Poise.

Also, I had the crankiest and ugliest man in the world in front of me, who made faces at me, imitated my laugh and was basically a bit of a bastard. Case in point – he did not put his chair in the upright position the whole journey, not even when he was getting off the train, he left it down in my lap the whole time!

Anyway, during the night, Sue-Ellen and I could obviously not sleep comfortably and were hysterical from tiredness, so we were laughing a lot. An old Norwegian couple in the seats similar to us across the aisle, were also hysterical and the four of us were laughing uproariously and communicating solely with hand/leg signals and facial expressions. They were so lovely, they even shared some of their odd Norwegian food with us (some rice cake type thing covered in some kind of cheese/peanut butter/apricot flavoured wax type something or other which I subtly shoved in between the chairs, and Sue Ellen hid in her shoe – still it was so lovely of them to share). I loved the man in particular, because he did a pretend kick in the air to get some ‘leg room’ and nearly kicked cranky man in front of me in the head. Hooray!

So yes, we were hysterical, and quickly reverted to our highschool years – how better to deal with this situation, than to write a song! Thus the creation of ‘Non-Reclining Chair’, sung to the tune of Bon Jovi’s ‘Living on a Prayer’. Once we had developed that song, we still had some creative juices flowing, so started another one called ‘The Pain Train’, sung to the tune of ‘The Peace Train’, but we think we must have passed out, so that is still in development.

Anyway, best stop whingeing about the worst part of the trip, and explain what we actually saw.
We left Oslo very early in the morning to catch the Bergensbanen mountain train line across the Hardangervidda National park, which was over 4000 feet above sea level, and had frozen rivers/lakes, snow fields as far as the eye can see, just really spectacular winter type scenes. Then we took the Flam Railway through the Flam valley, where the highlights are these amazing waterfalls that run the melting snow down into the fjords.

Side note: it was a ye olde train that stopped randomly to let people off to take photo’s. Sue and I got off, in the middle of nowhere, and the train almost straight away started to pull away. We were running after the train, with a man hanging out the door trying to lift us on. I don’t know why I was running, as I was not going to be jumping on to a moving train – apart from the ridiculousness of it, I was too short. So Sue-Ellen scrambled on, and I just ran alongside, and then it slowed down and stopped and I got on. I don’t know what I was going to do if it didn’t stop, as Sue and my bag were on the train, and I was seriously in the middle of absolutely NOWHERE.

Anyway, then when we got down to Flam, we got on a ferry and went on a Fjord cruise on the Aurlandsfjord and the Naeroyfjord – which is world heritage listed (but then, doesn’t everything seem to be these days?). still, it was everything we could have hoped for as far as stunning scenery goes, and although I cannot seem to post stupid photo’s on this stupid blog, I will email them around sometime soon. Describing it really means nothing…especially with my limited writing skills.

After the boat trip we went up what is apparently the steepest (and windiest - not windy, winding) road in northern Europe, called the Stalheimskleiven canyon road, to get a good view down the canyon at the fjord. Sue and I were bizarrely in the front seat (another aside: the whole journey was a battle to get good seats against insane pushy tourists, who, unlike the brits, do not know how to queue orderly), and the front seat gave us a birds eye view of the driver using ONLY HIS PINKY FINGER to drive a busload of tourists up this nightmarishly perilous road. Again, will send top photos of view down the canyon.

Then from Voss we got another train ride, also picturesque, to Bergen, which is a coastal town on the other side of Norway from Oslo (though still in the South). Here we refuelled with a double Che and then got back on the ‘Pain Train’ at 11 to go back to Oslo. Needless to say, we arrived back in Oslo the next morning, went and wolfed down our complimentary breakfast (was not hungry, but was included in hotel price!), then went to the room and passed out for like five hours.

When we woke up, Days of our Lives was on in English (excellent – as this is not on in the UK), and also some British search for a supermodel type show (which, as another aside, I must say was a gallery of the most unattractive girls I have ever seen, who on top of being unattractive were moll-like in personality. I am not sure these days what constitutes a ‘model’ but it seems to me that attractiveness is no longer a criteria! Seriously, Sue and I have agreed that with leg extensions we could be the next top model!)

So after gathering ourselves from the previous day (and nights) ordeal, we set out around Oslo again, mainly spending time in Frogner Park, which is a huge park filled with quite rude looking statues, and ended up treating ourselves to a lavish seafood dinner at the harbour. (Was thinking this morning how I am constantly ‘treating’ myself. When I am on holiday I spend up big, because I am on ‘holiday’, but when I am at home/work, I spend up big because ‘well, I should spoil myself because I am stuck here at home/work’. My whole life is driven forward by my self-rewards! Which usually only involve food, so maybe that is not too bad…ooh, another digression. Is this turning into a Lucas/Nicholas style blog? Am I losing my succinctness? Did I ever have it to begin with? Was succinctness even a word to begin with?)

Very succinct points to end with:
1. Two famous things in Oslo I will quickly note – it is the home of the Nobel Peace prize and also Munch’s ‘The Scream’…you know that painting?
Also, Norway seems a bit preoccupied with trolls, and although Sue and I were not sure where that originated...well, I shouldn’t really put it up on a blog, but if you email me, I will let you know where we think (with evidence!) it came from.
2. Also, in another quirky aside, how small is Europe? I ran into this girl that was on my Turkey tour on the fjord! Two girls from my Wales trip were in Turkey, a girl from the Turkey tour I saw in Norway...so I should see someone from Norway in Greece next!
3. The palace in Oslo, where the royal family actually stays, has super beautiful gardens, which the public have access to. You can go right up to the palace and everything (though obviously not inside). There are guards, but nothing major, very trusting. There was this cute little ye olde looking house next to the palace and there were soldiers in there milling around all dressed up…was very Pride and Prejudice.

The end.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Turkey

Yes, yes, I am a terrible blogger. This is why I never kept a diary, the novelty runs out quick-smart, I look back at what I wrote and think 'Oh my god what a psycho', and then have to burn it/flush it down the toilet...

Ok, so I just spent two weeks in Turkey, with Aidan and Shauna. On a tour for the first ten days, and on our own for the last four - earlier assertions regarding tours hold, although this one had much lovelier accommodation, like in proper hotels. Bizarrely, this boy from my uni was on our tour. Paul Bailey was in a few of my chem classes at uni and lived with Tom on campus. I ran into him earlier this year on Australia day, and then he was on my tour for ten days through Turkey! what a small, small world.

Hmmm, now, how best to put down succinctly all my experiences...

well...
First we arrived in Istanbul. For those that don't know, Istanbul spans two continents, and so has an Asian side and a European side, which makes it quite unique. It is a super old city, which has been ruled by changing empires and so has heaps of interesting places to explore.

The most famous thing in the city I think is the Blue Mosque, which, when lit up at night, looks amazing, like something from Disney's Aladdin - unfortunately, due to my lame arse photography skills, I was not able to capture this image to post on my blog. My favourite part of Istanbul was the Basilica Cistern, which was basically where the water was kept under the city. It was built in the 6th century AD, and just the fact that they could make something so huge, practical, and beautiful, underneath the city, so long ago, just boggles my mind. It isn't as well known as some of the other sites, so, just in case any of you go there, I highly recommend you remember to visit it.

We went on a dusk cruise down the Bosphorus river, visited the Topkapi palace (which has bits of John the Baptist covered in gold), and the Aya Sofya (a christian church turned mosque with a picture of Jesus looking like Nicholas Cage). We also went to the Grand Bazaar which is this huge market place in the old part of the city, but I was too cynical and annoyed by the irritating stall keepers to buy anything there...even though I think I could pass as Turkish, I know they were trying to rip me off!!!! We had already been gypped (if that is how it is spelt) too many times by the restaurants in Istanbul!!! I ended up getting double che's quite a lot, at least McDonalds has constant, advertised prices! no separate prices for tourists!!! (Just as an aside, has anyone read that book 'Fast Food Nation'? It is supposed to turn you against fast food chains, and thus off their food, but EVERY single time I open it I feel like a cheeseburger and so have to put the book down and go out and find one. Has this happened to anyone else?)

I drank a lot of fresh OJ while in Turkey. They sell it everywhere, squeeze it in front of you and it is really cheap and SO sweet. The other drink I loved, was the apple tea. They also serve this everywhere, in tiny little glasses. Finally I like tea! Although, just quietly, it isn't really tea, I think it is just hot apple juice. Nevertheless, I bought a huge box, brought it back to London, and now can pretend I am English.

After Istanbul we headed to Gallipoli and spent the day before Anzac day eve looking at the museum there and walking around Anzac Cove (where Simpson of Simpson and the donkey is buried and where the Anzacs landed). Did you know Simpson was like 22 when he was killed in battle? I always assumed Simpson was old...something about the donkey maybe...

We got there nice and early on Anzac day eve which meant we got a totally good spot right down the front of the grassed area. Although I was worried that it would be a big boozy party atmosphere, it wasn't at all. It was all kiwi's and aussies, but no alcohol was allowed on the peninsula, and everyone was being really respectful and mature I thought...AND I actually got to lie down in a super comfortable sleeping bag and got a lot of sleep.

Andrew Denton was there and did a lot of presenting-type stuff throughout the night, and it was all quite moving. I didn't put too much thought into what it would be like before I went, but it was fantastic. The Government obviously put a hell of a lot of work (and money) into it - Some of the dollars Arun let slip through before he left, no doubt. The stories were awe-inspiring, and it is a patriotic experience which I imagine I will remember forever. I think everyone shed tears during the last post or the laying of the wreaths.

After the ceremonies, Anzac Day began to go downhill. and although it might be disrespectful to complain about the bad day I had at Gallipoli...I just can't help it! I am a big fat whinger!!!
So anyway, after the ceremonies, we had to sit on the side of the road for hours on end, waiting for our bus to come back and pick us up. There were 600 buses that day. Also, we had to wait for all dignitaries to leave before any buses were allowed up. There were too many dignitaries and they were all slow. I got very sunburned on my face and we didn't get to our hotel until 1am that night (/morning).

Since we got to bed after 1, they let us have a sleep in and not leave until 8am - add to reasons to hate group tours. That day we set off to Ephesus which is one of the ancient cities in Turkey. Unlike Troy (which is basically a collection of old rocks), it has been well preserved and you can imagine what it must have looked like as a fully functioning city. I can’t remember when the city was established other than in Roman times and it had around 400,000 to 500,000 inhabitants at the height of its existence. That day I also saw one of the ancient wonders of the world - Ephesus houses the remains of the temple of Artemis (otherwise known as Diana) which is historically significant for a reason I cannot recall. The remains consist of one column, so it was kind of lame.

That day we also headed to Pamukkale which is home to these amazing calcified cliffs- my favourite place in Turkey. The water running out of this mountain has calcified the mountain face and has turned it white. In my photo's it looks like ice and snow. There are all these little pools with the most amazingly warm and clear water that you can have a paddle in and the bottom of it is all soft smooth clay.

The next day we went to a hammam. A hammam is a traditional Turkish bath house. You get into your togs, and then are ushered into the first steam room, which was way hotter than a normal sauna. You also can’t see because of the steam, so you freak out and think you are never going to get out and that you only have 15 seconds to live, and you stumble around blindly bumping into sweaty ferals in their togs. After ten minutes in there they make you go and jump in a cold pool after which you go back into the steam room for another 5 minutes or so. Similar to high school P.E., I refused to get in the pool - who cares if it jeopardised my hammam experience. It was freezing. Anyway, after the second steam you go into a bigger room where you lie on a hot slab of marble while you wait for your turn to be scrubbed down by this dude with a hard core exfoliating scrubber thing. You then have a shower and wash off all the dead skin and then you go for the massage. You lie face down on a rectangular slab of marble and they rub what looks like a pillow case full of bubbles all over you . You then get a massage from head to foot, which I just could not relax during...can't get into being naked and being rubbed. ANYWAY then you go and have another shower to get the suds off and you then sit in the bucket room. The bucket room is a little room where you sit on a little stool and fill bowls with warm water and throw them all over yourself. This then of course graduates to you throwing them all over everyone else which is good fun as well. Especially if you turn the hot water off and just fill your buckets with icy cold water.

The last bit of the trip was Cappadocia. This is an area where the people literally carved entire communities and houses into the mountains and other wierd rock formations. Although I wasn't listening at the time, this was apparently mainly for protection as everyone was trying to invade Turkey and convert the people to various religions for a long period of time. People lived in the mountains until the late 50s when the government moved them out as they were concerned about safety and stability.

Also in Cappadocia, as well as the carved in rock cities, they had this massive underground city. A city built under the ground that goes down 9 levels. We got down to level 6 and then got lost so our guide thought it best that we went back up…she was actually freaking out a bit as she was claustrophobic. I didn't mind getting out, it all looked the same to me. And I worry that these things are going to collapse...tasmania miner style.

Anyway, there you go Nicholas, monster post...now wait 437 days until my next one...